Do you fuck on first dates?
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they fucking can! This seems like a reasonable explanation to me and is also why I am writing my own blog. Seems every illiterate fuck is doing it anyway and at least I can spell.
To even up the score, it won’t be just me doing the blogging, I have enlisted a guest to Blog – my fluffer friend Courtney Loves Cox. ‘Nuff said. Here’s a bit about me….
I’m Tony, 36, male, straight and devote my life to the pursuit of porn. I’m slightly overweight by US standards, so you do the BMI math. I have a moustache and short beard cos I can’t be fucked shaving all the time and live in a bungalow behind my parents house. That way my mom can come over and bring me meals and clean.
I am a chauvinist and a fat lazy fuck. No girlfriend ‘cos again, I am a lazy bastard and by all accounts, it’s hard work. Besides, no chick has answered correctly to my questions in order of importance:
Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Why do things by half measure? Till I find a non-ugly piece of ass who can answer the aforementioned questions in the affirmative and in the right order, I won’t consider a relationship. And if I do ever find her (not that I’m looking but don’t tell my mom), I’ll just rewrite the rules of monogamy.
If you fuck on first dates, I welcome your comments.