Tony’s Blog

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, and if so, then Tone is feeling really fucking flattered at the moment. Seems everyone wants of piece of the webcam review pie and before you say well that’s ok, consider this:  I did the homework. This equates to countless hours spent scouring sexcam sites, free sex chat areas, private porn keyholes, recorded XXX live sessions, not to mention blowing all my hard earned greenbacks on 1on1 sexy pvt time with hot cam girls from the four corners of the globe, just to get the lowdown on who’s hot and who’s so not. I find it, fuck it (albeit virtually) and then report back to let you know whether it’s worth it or not. And if you think it was always a picnic; you’re fucking fooling yourself. Aside from the glamour girls, I’ve had to compare shemale schlongs and get close to some real questionable chicks with dicks. I do concede the BBW plump college chicks are 100% recreation, but little did ya know that I’ve also been stalked by phat girl feeders with appetites that require some appeasing. Wasn’t always fun and games and sometimes it was just downright scary. Some of these sites  you should definitely avoid! I bring it to you – facts, figures, highlights and lowlights - for the love of nude sexcams and to do my bit for my community of live sex cam junkies. The bottom line is that I do the research to spread the word and make it easier for you to a) go where Tony has gone and b) follow your sexual bliss. Thing is, I hadn’t bargained on being stolen from time and time again. Much respect to all Tony followers who dig my reviews and respect my sexcam savvy , but to those who feel the need to ROB my material, ENOUGH WITH THE FLATTERY – I AINT BUYING IT!  It aint’ cool and you need to check yourselves. Stealing the words, setup and ideas of another makes you nuttin but a cheap imitation of the real thing and basically, a wannabe loser. Get your own gig and stop jacking mine –capeesh? To all Tony lovers, I’m over on myspace too - http://www.myspace.com/tony_webcamreports

I have a new neighbor. Well, I think she’s new since I just saw her for the first time. But on the other hand, it’s the first time I’ve opened the bungalow’s side-window as well, so you can never know.

Anyway, I caught a glimpse of her standing in front of a cheap antique mirror that she probably bought in the flea market for $1.99 (including delivery). She’s buck naked, with her back turned to me, of course.

She was a bit slim for my taste and her rusty red hair seemed a ‘lil bit worn out. But she had a heartwarming pair of melons and a Hollywood bubble-booty that compensated big time. She put her finger inside her round mouth and smiled. I couldn’t tell if she was smiling at me, cos it wasn’t that clear if she could actually notice me.

So I decided that her smile was aimed at me and chose to join her. She sucked her finger and pinched her strange looking nipple. Yea, come to think of it, it was the most bizarre nipple I’ve ever seen, kinda square looking. I came closer to the window and took a better look at her pussy. I shifted the dusty curtain. Yep, it’s been a while since I had the damn thing washed and she was one hundred percent all shaved.

She spread her legs slightly and placed one wet finger between her freckled thighs. I could swear I saw her winking. She bent forward a bit and her sweet butt seemed closer than before. I could actually feel the taste of her asshole in my mouth.

I put my palm over my dick, feeling myself get hard through my jeans. She went down on her knees and kept on thrusting into her invisible hole. Now all I could see was her pinkish anus. I stuck my right hand inside my pants and grabbed my cock.

I could be sure I heard her moaning: “Oh baby, give me some more.” I was in a very generous mood that day so I started jerking more enthusiastically. She seemed to like it and by that time the whole street could actually hear her cumming.

I came all over my pants, like some fucking kid reading his mom’s Cosmo magazine. I’m nearly sure I saw her looking into my eyes and laughing, all calm and content. Who says Neighborhood Watch can’t be a good thing?

After a long absence and freshly inspired by incessant Fleshbot surfing, I’ve made the conscious decision to….well,  throw caution to the wind and follow my fetishes starting with old faithful - the BBW. 

I’ve always had a thing for chubby chicks ‘cos of their carefree attitudes and willingness to put fatass criticisms to one side and bare it all for folks who prefer plus sizes.  While researching the field, I’ve had my eyes and pants opened to plump voluptuous babes who really personify the big beautiful woman,  but my interest has also been sparked by a fascination for the morbidly obese  and the feeders phenomenon.  Just goes to show that there’s more than meets the eye to the overweight and what constitutes a big ass. 

The spectrum of jumbo sizes is huge, ranging from pudgy and rubenesque, big breasted women types to thick phat chicks from the ghetto  

There’s no consensus on the topic of how big XXX fatladies should be.  Opinions vary about as much as large sizes do and the only advice on big ass porn from old Tone   to you is:  if you have a penchant for pudge, get in the fat chick game and find one who’s still thick enough to rock your boat without capsizing the fucker.

I feel like someone pissed in my cheerios!  Nothing good about this morning!  Stupidly, I committed to going to a bar last night with one of my buddies for a bit of Xmas drinking cheer.  Not just any bar, this is what they term a pick up bar. 

Before I dive into the story though, I feel it’s important to define what a Cockblocker is and to identify the most common and threatening of all Cockblockers…

The Grenade (the most common Cockblock)

This is the hot girl’s friend.  She’s not getting play from anyone, so she gets upset, jealous, plays the best friend card, convincing the hot one to leave with her.  COCKBLOCK! 

I call her the grenade after a counter technique I developed - already a well established tactic of avoiding this kind of Cockblock.  Have a friend “jump on the grenade” and hook up with the ugly one.  This way you kill 2 birds with one stone – the cockblock and your liquored up dipshit of a buddy (Dave) who is getting in the way because he thinks the hot one is looking right at him. 

Simply convince dipshit buddy that cock block is the hot one (not hard as dipshit’s vision has been heavily impaired by alcohol at this stage) and that he should invest some time in telling her how beautiful she is. 

This also makes for a great story to tell the rest of your buddies at weekly card night as Dave loves exaggerating a woman’s beauty, especially when he can’t remember what the bitch looked like.  This is the opportune time to tell all your buddies that she was a cock block hoe and of course, you can exaggerate as to how ugly she was and they’re sure to believe you.  Just deserts for the cockblock and Dave.

Being cockblocked in bar is one thing, but when it happens at home, you can’t help but take it more personally.  I had, what I considered, the right fall back to remedy the damage after the shitty night out and Cockblock affair - a full half hour session of sexcam therapy.

Armed with 100 bucks worth of cam credit, I hit my usual haunts to find much needed solace that could swing the night in my favor.
 
First up was RoyalPain, apparently a femdom, who turned out to be nothing but a royal pain the ass.  I told her I had just been paid and was ready to blow the lot.  Her response matched the look on her face……”So?”  So, I ask myself, are you here for shits and giggles or do you wanna make some serious money? 

I asked myself this question only after I’d left her miserable ass where I’d found it.  Bitches like this don’t deserve my business or anyone’s for that matter. 

AnalDesire was next and in total contrast to her name, she made mine totally disappear.  What the fuck was going on?  Had this putrid cockblocker from the pick-up (I fucking hate that term) bar alerted some sort of sad bitch sorority in order to fuck up what is usually my favorite pastime?  Panic started to set it and so did the alcohol sweats.
 
BustyNympho was next and had a big job to do by this stage.  She had to redeem the actions of the aforementioned bitches with gusto and restore ole Tony’s faith, and let’s face it, dignity as well.  But just when her top came off and things started to go my way below the belt, she casually waved her right hand at my cam à la Jerry Springer hoochie-mama style and kicked me out of the session. 

A range of emotions followed – stunned disbelief for about 2 minutes, indignant shock followed by rage and finally, revenge – well the plotting thereof anyway.  This also happens to be the stage I’m still in, if you hadn’t noticed. 

In an effort to get back at these bitches and to protect myself from falling prey to them twice – yes, it can happen to you too, especially after a few drinks – I have developed Tony’s Shit List. 

On this Shit List will be anything that has affected me adversely including camgirls, cockblockers and the impetus for the list - the camgirl cockblocker!
 
How she can be allowed to exist and operate is beyond me.  I didn’t offend her.  Despite my potty mouth, I keep it clean when it comes to the camgirls ‘cos I don’t like to shit in my own backyard, so to speak.  My handling of BustyNympho was no exception, so why she pulled the worse cockblock in Tony’s sexcam history is a mystery. 

Anyway bitch, now you’ll think twice about sassing me!  And this doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop applauding a job well done.  I plan to go out of my way to make sure credit is given where due, but I won’t stand for random cockblocking. 

On that note, Happy Xmas to you and yours and beware – Cockblockers are rife during the holiday season because they’ve got nothing better to do than to fuck it all up for you!

Just FYI:  Dave woke up hungover.  Two-thirds of his bed contained a sweaty mound of fugly cockblocker with unshaven armpits and huge bush. His genitals itched terribly.

Despite the lack of a girlfriend in my life, I am devoted to and am sort of in love with a good many sexcam girls.  They’re reliable; always there when I need em’ and I have the power to switch em’ off when they just won’t shut the fuck up.  Would this happen in the real world – erm, No!  She’d bore me to an early grave with all her bitching and spend the bulk of my money, if I had any.
 
You can find reviews of sexcam sites I’ve tried and tested at my site http://www.webcamreports.com/  Thank God for Camgirls and their upfront and liberal attitudes towards fucking. 

Take my connection with ImLive’s CrazyAngelU as an example.  We would have hit the “awkward” phase long ago in real life; we’ve fucked (albeit on other sides of the camera) more than three times, but still view calling each other the next day as optional.  I definitely don’t want anything serious, but the “Are you sleeping with anyone else?” conversation can be tricky if you want the answer to be in the affirmative. 

We simply don’t bother with standard chats - I don’t give a fuck how her day was and she doesn’t ask me about mine.  More importantly, she doesn’t give me any shit for eating the entire KFC family bucket.  16 pieces for the price of 14 – again, you do the math! 

And who says she aint’ got ambitions and talents?  She’s already perfected her dance moves and that includes the robot!  How many chicks do you know that have the robot nailed? 

Oh, and I don’t mind sharing her - http://imlive.com/waitingroom1.asp?hostnick=Crazyangelu&hewid=GGLIEH